COMPASSION FROM CHILDHOOD
Making one’s life meaningful, for a Buddhist, very much
tends to involve learning how to adapt to life’s ups and downs. Life
necessarily contains many setbacks and disappointments. That is its
nature, and there is often very little we can do about it. It is thus a
question of adapting and of trying to craft one’s internal responses to
events, rather than trying to control the external events themselves.
Compassion
The justification for compassion in Buddhism is very
clear indeed. Compassion is in many respects a central feature of Buddhism
for two reasons: first it is part of the love and respect we must
cultivate for all living beings; second, it emanates from the central
theme of developing and cultivating the theme of ‘non-harming’ in all
aspects of one’s life. Non-harming being an aspect of ‘right livelihood’.
Thus in many respects an uncompassionate person cannot really in honesty
be a good Buddhist at all, as they are not practising the religion they
claim to follow.
The justification for compassion within Buddhism also
rests upon one’s commitment to develop good spiritual qualities as an end
in itself. These include generosity, patience, compassion, love,
tolerance, forgiveness, etc. It also rests upon a similar commitment to
gradually abandon and deal with negative qualities like hatred, anger,
violence, badmouthing others, jealousy, envy, pride, etc. One cannot avoid
these tasks. They are part of our inheritance as human beings. To truly be
a Buddhist one simply must set about these life tasks. Buddhism is very
much a religion of self-correction, change and purifying oneself of bad
qualities. It is a form of therapy. That is probably its most central
feature. Thus in all these ways one can easily justify compassion as a
most important spiritual quality in Buddhism.
In the case of developing compassion we can also say
that it moves along a scale from hating, to toleration, to understanding,
to acceptance, to forgiveness, to love. Thus we can gradually transform
hatred into love by an act of will. Compassion is the driving force behind
that process. To hate someone is easy. It is often our first unthinking
response. But to then consider that one must tolerate them is to move
along this scale slightly. It then moves into understanding, perhaps only
in small ways to begin with, and then that snowballs, and we realise that
to understand is to accept, and that to accept is in part to forgive. And
so on. To be a good Buddhist we should hate no-one, we should actively
seek to clear out all hatred from our lives. This means developing
universal compassion, having no enemies and trying to love all beings. It
is not easy, but it is the goal.
Childhood
Childhood, as we look back on it, seems to contain three
main elements which can be used in Buddhist practice. One is the feelings
of love and compassion of one’s family which nurtured and supported one as
a child, the second is the impermanence element of life having moved along
since that time; third is the vivid images we have from that time which
can be successfully used as a basis for visualization. Thus ‘coming to
terms’ with one’s childhood as one gets older can very much mean firstly
adapting to the sense of loss one feels about the passing away of phases
of one’s life and secondly, one can seek to really feel, cultivate and
recreate the love and compassion which surrounded us in our own childhood.
Thus a possible negative of yearning sentimentally back to the ‘good
times’, and loved ones long since departed, can be converted into a
positive force in one’s life now.
Why, one asks, is this relevant? It is relevant because
as we get older we tend to regress back into the ideas and feelings which
surrounded us in our childhood. As we approach death at the end of our
life, so in another sense we revert back to our birth and the conditions
which pertained at that time. It is the closing of a circle. The
conditions of one’s birth and early life have a certain tone and
atmosphere which set the scene for the rest of one’s life. Also, very
importantly, everyone we were close to at that time, in family, neighbours
and friends, become somewhat solidified into a basic backdrop for the rest
of our life. We tend to measure everyone we meet against those central
figures at the start of our life. We tend to measure all new events
against experiences we had then. Thus the early phase of our childhood
represents a very important starting point, which we return to in old age.
This explains why so many people in old age become
childlike and actually can see and speak to those people who they knew as
a child. The people visually return to the mind. Intensely vivid images
from childhood return to the consciousness of the bed-bound and those who
live alone for many months. It is these conditions, and the lack of
activity within real life, which activate the memory and cause this
reflowering of early memories. It seems disturbing to watch this but it is
so commonplace that it must have a sound psychological foundation. It
shows in fact that we revert back to the central certainties of that early
phase of our life. Another important factor concerns the clarity of the
mind in childhood and old age. They are very similar. The basic similarity
means that in old age one can vividly recall in great detail events of
long ago. They come back with greater clarity. Rather than being a source
of remorse, this fact can be used within one’s practice.
Thus the concept of ‘coming to terms with childhood’ is
a potent and centrally relevant one for the Buddhist, who is naturally
ever-mindful of death and thus of one’s own fragility. The older one gets,
inevitably the nearer to death one moves. Being able to grasp the
impermanence of our life, the warm loving feelings of childhood and the
intensely vivid images in memory can all be used successfully to generate
good practice and used to transform one’s ordinary life now into a
Buddhist path.
Bodhichitta
The combination of compassion, emptiness/impermanence
and visualization forms the very root foundation of tantric practice.
Within tantric Buddhism there is a very great emphasis upon making the
effort to generate a supremely strong form of compassion called
‘bodhichitta’ which literally means ‘mind of enlightenment’. This very
special emphasis upon compassion essentially means that one should view
all living beings not just neutrally, but as one’s friends; indeed, that
one should regard all living forms as somehow related to yourself in the
same way as one is related to one’s mother in this life. This conveys the
flavour and emotional intensity to the term ‘bodhichitta’. By ‘mind of
enlightenment’ it really means ‘the thought of a Buddha’. It means what a
Buddha would think. A Buddha regards all living beings as his/her own
mother, in the sense that s/he regards them with love and their welfare is
uppermost in his/her thoughts. Thus ‘bodhichitta’ truly means a foundation
for the whole tantric path. Combined with emptiness it is in fact the
absolute basis for the tantric path.
The special compassion one develops in tantric practice
is a very powerful force for the good. Because one wishes to gain
enlightenment very quickly, one must adopt all the qualities of a Buddha
as objects of the path, or as they say ‘take the fruit as the path’. This
means that one becomes a Buddha through a process of direct imitation. The
two chief qualities a Buddha has are compassion and the correct view of
emptiness. Thus they form the basis for the entire path. Minutely copying
these qualities forms the direct route to enlightenment.
This great compassion has several foundations. Firstly,
one becomes a Buddha through acting like one, and Buddhas are always kind,
patient, and considerate of others. Second, in order to attain the fruits
of tantric practice one must swiftly generate very great merit. This is
mainly achieved through developing very deep compassion and through making
offerings. Thirdly, for successful tantric practice one must view oneself
as a Buddha, or at least as a Buddha-to-be. That would be very difficult
to do, convincingly and in honesty, if one did not act like one already. A
Buddha is ever mindful of helping other beings and is ever thinking up new
ways to be a source of help to them. Through generating love, tolerance
and forgiveness, we attract gentle and kind beings into our life who can
help us. Likewise, we generate a pliable and ethical mindstream which is
more suitable for Buddhist practice.
Summary
By way of summary, I have tried to show that an
examination of early childhood and of old age show certain similarities.
In old age there tends to arise a longing for the joy and simplicity of
the child, combined with a deep nostalgia for the many loved ones we have
lost along the way. Thus for a Buddhist, one of the big problems of old
age is dealing with all this and still maintaining good practice. One
method of doing this is to bring the main elements of childhood into one’s
practice throughout adulthood, rather than trying to suppress one’s
feelings for the joys of that period, and then having to face them at the
end of one’s life. By adopting this approach it is possible to bring the
clarity, the joy, the loving emotion and the vividness of childhood
memories into the Buddhist path and use them now to generate love,
compassion, a sound understanding of emptiness and a vivid clarity of
visualization. Dealing with the longings also releases us from their
tyranny later on. We therapeutically save ourselves from ourselves.
Finally, I would say that compassion generates merit,
which is rather like gold going into one’s spiritual bank account and
which will bring future happiness and good future lives. It is an
insurance policy against possible disaster.
Compassion quotes
‘Beings of great capacity…reflecting on certain
truths, such as that all beings have at one time or another in the vast
duration of cyclic existence been their mothers and shown them great
kindness, they gradually develop love and compassion for others.’
[Cozort, 1986, pp.22-3]
‘Although compassion is said to be the basis of
practice, it is basic in the sense of being one’s motivation…’
[Cozort, p.31]
‘…the cultivation of compassion and the
realization of emptiness are as essential to tantric practice as they
are to sutra practice.'[Cozort, pp.59-60]
‘Love and compassion have the support of valid
cognition; their production does not need assistance from ignorance
’
[Gyatso, 1988, p.102]
‘The root of altruistic mind generation is
compassion. In the process of generating strong compassion, as much as
one has a sense of closeness, pleasantness, and dearness with regard to
sentient beings who are troubled by suffering, to that degree one has
compassion with respect for them.’ [Gyatso, 1988, p.165]
‘…love, compassion, and concern for other people
– these are real sources of happiness. With love and compassion, even if
you are living in a very uncomfortable place, the external circumstances
will not disturb you.’ [Gyatso, 1988, p.182]
‘I will offer some comments…concentrating mainly
on the practices of love, kindness, and compassion.’ [Gyatso, 1995, p.3]
‘In simple terms, compassion and love can be
defined as positive thoughts and feelings that give rise to such
essential things in life as hope, courage, determination, and inner
strength.’ [Gyatso, 1995, p.64]
‘…longevity, good health, success, happiness, and
so forth…are all dependent on kindness and a good heart.’ [Gyatso’
1995′ p.65]
‘Buddhist scriptures speak of being exceptionally
kind and compassionate …one of the most important ideals…is to be
especially compassionate towards those who most need help…’ [Gyatso’
1995, p.90]
‘…realization of bodhichitta – [is] the
altruistic aspiration to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all
living beings.'[Gyatso, 1995, p.94]
‘There are many different philosophies, but what is
of basic importance is compassion, love for others, concern for others’
suffering, and reduction of selfishness.'[Gyatso, 1985, p.11]
‘…kindness and compassion are the most important
things, very precious and valuable.'[Gyatso, 1985, p.32]
Sources
Cozort, Daniel, 1986, Highest Yoga Tantra, Snow Lion,
USA
Gyatso, Tenzin, 1985, Kindness, Clarity and Insight, Snow Lion, USA
Gyatso, Tenzin, 1988, The Dalai Lama at Harvard, Snow Lion, USA
Gyatso, Tenzin, 1995, The World of Tibetan Buddhism